You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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