I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
