We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
