My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
