i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Is her dick bigger than yours?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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