Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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