So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
