You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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