My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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