i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Moan for me like Helen Keller
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
