I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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