Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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