I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
