remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
