idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
