If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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