How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
