it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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