just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
