Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
