Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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