I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
