I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
