I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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