I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
