I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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