He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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