arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
