You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
