I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
