she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
