i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
