I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
