brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
