Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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