i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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