are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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