I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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