Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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