Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
