May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
