If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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