The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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