how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i came on her dog
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
