She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
