I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
They took my balls.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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