My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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