the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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