Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
