This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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