We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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