i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
